Play Something Country
by ShougiKnight
Summary: Songfic. Uke!Lambo. He's obviously older somewhere between 10 and 20 years later . Reborn x Lambo. Some innuendo, mild language.


I, Lambo that is, leaned against the DJ booth of his family's club, tipping my new cowboy hat over my eyes to shield them from the strobe lights. "Yare yare, there's nobody interesting here tonight, Reborn."

DJ Rebo glanced down at him from under his fedora, huge headphones blocking nearly everything but the music out. He raised one eyebrow and pointed to the door.

Just then, the door to the club slammed open, the bang causing everyone to stop and look.

Well she blew through the door like TNT, put a hand on her hip, pointed a finger at me, said "I'm a whiskey drinkin', cowboy-chasin, hell-of-a-time. I like Kenny, Keith, Alan, and Patsy Klein. I'm a full-throttle queen bee, lookin for honey. A-Whoo-hoo now PLAY SOMETHIN COUNTRY!"

As quickly as she had come in, the dance floor cleared out. She walked straight over to me, grabbed me by my cow print shirt (damn, I'd have to iron those wrinkles out later) and pulled me out onto the dance floor. Her version of dancing was standing a full foot away from me gyrating her hips and arms in my general direction. …while I just stood there looking awkwardly up at Reborn for some help…ANY help.

Yeah, the band took a break, the DJ played P. Diddy. She said "I didn't come here to hear somethin funky from the city." She wrapped her long legs, bare up to her Daisy Duke shorts around me like I was a stripper-pole. "I shaved my legs, I paid my money. A-Whoo-hoo , PLAY SOMETHIN COUNTRY!" She ground herself up against me as I squirmed to push her off. She threw me to the floor, put a stiletto heel into my shoulder and pointed to Reborn, ahem, DJ Rebo. "A-WHOO-HOO NOW PLAY SOMETHIN COUNTRY." She reached down and pulled me up by my shoulders, staring me in the face with what seemingly was supposed to be a seductive look. "Crank up the band, play the steel guitar, Hank it up a little let's ROCK. THIS. BAR."

Reborn shrugged and turned the music down while he began to search for her request.

She grabbed me by my precious, now-wrinkled cow-shirt and dragged me to the bar yelling for some of the hard stuff. Threw back a shot, yelled, "I'm a George Strait junkie! A-WHOO-HOO, PLAY SOMETHIN COUNTRY." She looked straight at Reborn and pointed a long, painted fingernail at him. (Which gave me time to order a shot of something, ANYTHING, and down it FAST before she pulled me out to the dance floor again) "A-WHOO-HOO NOW PLAY SOMETHIN COUNTRY!"

With a mumbled "…to-ler-ate…" I tripped over my own feet as she spun me around in circles and do-si-do-ed all over the dance floor, preventing anyone from joining us. I must have checked the clock a thousand times. Would this night ever be over? She ran her magenta nails down my jawbone and leaned in for a kiss. Not knowing what to do I turned my head and spun her around in a circle. Damn…now she expects me to participate in the dancing for the rest of the night. It would've been better just to kiss her and get it over with.

Between gut-wrenching swirls and her dipping ME over her knee, what I saw of Reborn he was just SMIRKING at me and did he just crank the music up LOUDER? ….I was going to kill him.

YEAH! The Bartender yelled, "Ya'all it's closin' time." She put her hand on her hip and said "Your truck…."she winked, "Or mine…" She leaned in close and purred in my ear, (no really, she sounded like a freaking cat.) "I know a…place down the road, its kinda funky. Ahhh…"she blew into my ear, "whoo-hoo…." She grabbed both of my ass-cheeks. Hard. "All…out in the country." She leaned in to kiss me again, my neck straining backward, "ahh whoo-hoo…let's play something...country." She ended seductively, kissing a bright red lipstick mark on my jawbone.

Suddenly my arm was yanked backward and I fell into a rock-hard bicep. Reborn stood me back on my feet and draped his suit jacket over my shoulders, pulling me into a one-arm possessive not-hug. All the time he kept his eyes forward, staring at the girl coldly from under his dark fedora. She looked shocked, her tank top strap fell down over her shoulder and onto her arm as the fight suddenly left her.

Reborn brought one thumb to his mouth and licked it. He grabbed my chin and wiped the lipstick mark off, all the while staring her down. He spoke quietly, his voice suddenly too loud for the silent bar.

"Aho-shi. You will bring my car around, wont you? Don't forget I have the Black Mercedes tonight. You ding the car, you die." His eyes flickered to me as I numbly nodded and scrambled off, pulling his keys out of the jacket around my shoulders. I nearly made it to the door before I heard him speak again, still quietly, deadly, but crystal clear through the silence. "He will be coming home with /me/ tonight."

-RL-RL-RL-RL-RL-RL-RL-RL-

When Reborn finally joined me in the car I couldn't help but whine. "Seriously, Reborn? Why did you let her dance with me ALL NIGHT LONG! You even played EVERYTHING she requested."

Reborn raised an eyebrow and smirked before turning on the car. "It amuses me to no end to see you suffer, you know that. Consider it payback for all of those….ill planned assassination attempts you put me through."

I folded my arms and slumped back into the leather seats. "Why do YOU get to have all the fun?"

He grabbed my chin again and turned my head toward him, "Oh, you'll have fun all right. As soon as we get home. But not sooner." He kissed me roughly and let go too soon, pulling out of the parking lot and onto the empty street.

Fine. I guess I will try to be patient. Try. I never promised anything more.


End file.
